How many times have we asked ourselves: Who am I really? It’s not an easy question. Often, we limit ourselves to defining our identity through roles or labels: “I am a consultant,” “I am someone’s sister,” “I am a 45-year-old entrepreneur…”. These descriptions help us introduce ourselves, but they risk becoming a cage, something that makes us two-dimensional, like a drawing on a piece of paper that lacks depth. If we never take the time to reflect on ourselves, we may even begin to believe that our identity is limited to this.
Beyond lables
The truth is that each of us is much more than a simple definition. We are a complex mix of roles, emotions, passions, and unique facets. We are what we are in relation to others (friend, sister, colleague, lover, ...), but we are also what we are to ourselves, in our inner world made of dreams, qualities, abilities, and challenges. Taking the time to reflect on who we truly are is a fundamental step in embracing our identity in all its complexity. It’s an opportunity to get to know ourselves, appreciate who we are, and consciously choose what we want to work on.
My personal Yourney
When I started asking myself “Who am I?”, I was confronted with a long list full of surprises. I wasn’t just a consultant or a coach; I was also a daughter, a wife, a friend, a woman, and much more. I discovered that I am a person with many wonderful characteristics but also with some rough edges to smooth out. This work on myself helped me understand that in order to improve, it is essential to first have a complete vision of who we are. It’s like working on a painting: you cannot decide to add colors or correct mistakes without having a clear vision of the whole piece.
Sometimes, what I initially considered “flaws” turned out to be essential in giving depth and meaning to my identity. I learned that just as some artists create art from a tear or a splash of color, the parts of ourselves that we don’t like can also have unexpected value. Accepting and integrating them into the bigger picture is part of our growth journey.
Accepting ourselves to improve
The journey of exploring my identity led me to let go of the idea of perfection. Always ambitious in wanting to improve, I learned to make peace with parts of myself that I had never fully appreciated. Thanks to this greater awareness, I could start valuing my strengths and seeing my flaws in a different light, as something that can be improved without excessive judgment.
It’s like shifting focus: by consciously choosing to give more weight to my qualities, I began to look at myself with kinder eyes, understanding that the balance between light and shadow is what makes each person unique.
Identity in coaching: how i work with my clients
When I work with my clients, I invite them to explore their identity like an artist preparing to paint a complex and vibrant picture. Often, we limit ourselves to using only a few colors, identifying with traits that can be negative, such as “I am a lazy person.” This narrow view becomes a kind of canvas on which we paint our lives, making it difficult to perceive all the nuances that compose us. If we believe we are just lazy, our actions conform to this belief; however, if we learn to look beyond this label, we can start mixing in other colors. By recognizing that we are much more, we can “resize” laziness, relegating it to a small part of our artwork and freeing ourselves from its grip in the areas of life that truly matter to us.
The real work is to help clients recognize their complexity and consciously choose which colors of their identity they want to bring to the forefront and which they want to fade into the background. This process allows them to create a more balanced and enriching narrative of themselves, giving space to personal growth and acceptance, like a painting that reflects all the shades of their existence.
Getting to know ourselves to love ourselves more
In the end, exploring who we are serves not only to improve but also to love ourselves more. Learning to look at ourselves with understanding rather than judgment is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. This process also helps anyone who wants to engage in a coaching journey: to love oneself, appreciate one’s uniqueness, and learn to be more tolerant of one’s imperfections. After all, we are not here to be perfect, but to be authentic.
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